A Misunderstanding
by Distant-Moon
Summary: What REALLY happened during Zuko and Iroh's ferry ride to Ba-Sing-Se.  Implied one-sided Jetko, and a hint of a crack pairing too.  Way funnier  and somewhat creepier  than it sounds.  Read on...oh, and leave a review on the way out.


**A/N: This is just a funny idea that popped into my head. For those of you who can chuckle at the Jetko pairing, this one is for you. However, this one isn't _entirely _Jetko; there's a crack pairing in here as well...sort of. It just depends on how you look at it. Dedicated to the fine makers of Captain Crunch cereal for pumping me with so much sugar that I was able to even _conceive _this idea, let alone write it. Thank you.**

**Disclaimer: Be very glad that I don't own Avatar: the Last Airbender or any of its characters. The reason should be apparent soon. Quite soon, in fact...**

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**"A Misunderstanding"**

It was a very hot, very humid afternoon as the noon sun reached its zenith. The Serpent's Pass ferry chugged down the river almost unbearably slow, and its passengers all clustered around on deck, risking mosquito bites just for the slight chance of a cooling breeze.

"Oh, Spirits, this is awful," one elderly man complained. "Makes me want to jump in the river and cool off." At this, he _hawked _a good one and spat at a nearby log. Of course, he missed by a few feet, and to everyone's mutual disgust the "log," which was actually a catfishgator, floated to the surface and swallowed the congealed lump in one snap of its jaws.

After that, no one suggested swimming. They were still holding out for that wind, though.

But Zuko, alias Li, was a pessimist. At least in regards to his own luck...specifically, his chances at catching said breeze. So instead, our heroic exile decided that he would have better odds at catching up on some well-needed _sleep _instead.

While "Li" tucked himself into the nearest corner and drew his hat over his eyes, he let his thoughts drift while his Uncle Iroh...er...Mushi got better acquainted with the poofy-haired freedom fighter and his minions...er...friends.

A lot of errs in that sentence, but the biggest one was Zuko's. That is, the mistake of putting himself in such a vulnerable position while immersed in a group of _somewhat_ questionable people. In any case, it was while he was dozing that Zuko's ear caught a snag in the conversation Jet and Iroh were having. Not opening his eyes, he decided to just let the sound of their voices carry him off to sleep again.

But _this _was what he heard.

"Your nephew, Li," Jet spoke up. "He seems like a decent guy."

Zuko could imagine Iroh's chest puffing out a little in pride. "Thank you. Yes, Li is a fine man. Very upright, though a tad ambitious sometimes. I know he comes across as somewhat..._determined_, but even so...he's a good boy."

The sleeping prince felt a slow tingle of affection for his uncle. _It's good of him to stick by me, _he thought to himself. _Even through all this hardship and aggravation...Uncle must really care about me. _

This put him in somewhat higher spirits, and he listened on with a lighter heart.

Jet grunted. "He must be...to sleep so soundly like that."

Zuko realized, lazily, that they were watching him. He kept his breathing easy and undisturbed, not in the mood for conversation.

"He looks so...peaceful," the brunette said pensively, with an odd note to his voice. The Fire Prince couldn't quite put his finger on what _exactly _it was that made it odd. It was more like a feeling in his gut. It was just...weird.

"Yes. It's good to see. He deserves some rest. He has been through so much..."

"Looks like it," Jet replied.

Zuko tried not to tense up. He knew now with almost ninety-nine percent certainty that the guy was staring at his scar. It was getting harder to feign sleep.

He had to admit, it was very uncomfortable laying there, knowing he was being scrutinized as though he were a statue or a work of art. It reminded him of the time he had gotten his portrait painted, nigh months before his banishment, and he had been told not to blink. For _hours_.

Only this was worse, because no one was painting him. They were gawking. At his _scar_.

"I envy him," said Jet suddenly. "The way he looks right now...it...I dunno...it just...makes me feel things...makes me _want things._"

"Hmmmm..."

"It just makes me want to run my hand across his face...slowly...and _lick _it."

Zuko froze. _What the...hell...?_

Iroh seemed to nod, as though he understood. "I get the same way sometimes," he agreed, rather dreamily. It made all the affection and warmth in the boy dry up like an empty well.

_Uncle...? _His thoughts echoed in his spinning head, sounding so small...so confused.

Of course, the ex-General had nothing perverted in mind at the time. As a matter of fact, he was having trouble concentrating in such a dense heat and was barely listening anymore. He only caught bits and pieces of Jet's statements, and obviously, the _lewdness _of his comment went clean over the top of his balding head. Instead, the amiable tea-maker got the mental image of a lion licking its cub and had lazily responded to what he thought was a metaphor. But _Zuko _didn't know that, did he?

"He really is a sound sleeper," said Jet, who (the prince noticed with relief) had returned to a less untoward subject.

That is, until the brunette decided to _elaborate_.

"I bet he wouldn't even wake up if you tied his wrists together..."

Zuko's jaw was so taut that it threatened to shatter at any second.

Iroh was in his own world, and had, again, missed everything Jet had said. Instead, he was watching some fellow passengers trying to make tea out of some of the swamp plants in a desperate attempt to "make the best of things."

"You know," the ex-General said slowly (albeit to himself), "I _never _thought to try that..."

Oh, the possibilities, his voice seemed to say. And to Zuko, it said things he could have lived a long, happy life never hearing. Horrible things. Things that made his skin crawl.

Abruptly, he sat up, startling both Jet and the absent-minded Iroh out of his reverie.

"Oh, nephew," he said brightly. "I just had a wonderful idea...!"

Every muscle in Zuko's body went stiff.

"Don't," he croaked, his voice more hoarse than usual. His limbs seemed to creak as he pushed himself on to his feet. His golden irises turned cold as he stared, horrified, at his uncle. "Don't talk to me, you...you..."

"Something wrong, Li?" Jet asked, quirking an eyebrow. "You look...flustered. It's _hot_."

Zuko's face turned to the color of sour milk. Not saying a single word, he staggered over to the railing, that same _haunted _look in his eyes. He looked like he was going to vomit.

"Nephew?" Iroh said, now genuinely concerned. "What's the matter? You look...ill." Turning to Jet, he said, "Maybe we should find him a _bed_..."

"That sounds like a good idea."

The exiled prince just kept shaking his head back and forth. "Don't come...any closer, you...you..._deviants_...!"

He put his foot on the railing and pushed himself up, balancing precariously on the narrow bar. Everyone went dead silent. Well, except for that one old guy. He was yelling at Zuko to _jump_.

"Whoa," Smellerbee said to Longshot. "Li's lost his mind, huh? You think he's gonna do it?"

To which the archer replied with a knowing look. Smellerbee nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, that's what I thought, too," she said.

By now, the crowd had thickened, and everyone was watching Zuko with a sort of morbid curiosity and dread. It was like watching someone about to jump the high dive in a circus act, only Ty-Lee was no where to be seen. Everyone held their breath, as though the slightest sigh would cause the lethally-on-edge refugee to lose his balance. Even the catfishgators were watching, their beady eyes attentive on their potential next meal. Apparently loogies aren't very filling.

"Nephew," said Iroh slowly. "_Please _don't do anything hasty! I understand what you are feeling...and I _know _how awkward our position is now, given our...erm...previous living arrangement. But you don't have to resort to this! We can adjust..._together_!"

"I'm not adjusting _anything _with you, old man!" Zuko screamed, unsheathing his dao swords and brandishing them at the crowd. "If you want to _adjust_ your _position_, you can do it with that masochistic freakshow standing next to you! I bet he'd _love _being tied down!"

"W-what?"

"You heard me, Uncle! And if you take so much as a single step closer, I'll..."

"Less chat, more splash!" the old man interjected loudly. The rest of the crowd shot him dirty looks. "_What?_ You were _all _thinking it!"

Zuko ignored them. As far as he was concerned, there was no one around except for him, Jet, and the dirty, dirty old man who had betrayed him. And he couldn't forgive any of them, not as long as he lived. It was because of them that he had come to realize that everything he thought he knew about his beloved uncle was nothing but a sick lie.

"Li, please," said Iroh, holding his hands out as though trying to calm a frightened wild animal. "Just hold on to the railing and come down...slowly. We can talk about this." Tentatively, he took a step closer to his deranged nephew, then another. The older man's expression was one of concern...albeit, bewildered and confused at the same time, but concerned all the same.

"Get back!" Zuko snarled. "I'm warning you! I'll jump!"

Anyone who has ever witnessed anything like a self-fulfilling prophecy knew then and there that there was no saving the lad. The moment those words were uttered, the air seemed to hum with their finality. There were no backsies, no chance for second-thoughts or getting cold feet. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you looked at it, Zuko was too riled up to feel any sense of doubt. Though at one point he _did _glance behind him towards the murky waters, at the catfishgators staring at him hungrily. Perhaps on some level, there _was _a teeny, tiny part of him saying, _"Maybe this isn't such a good idea."_

But of course, that thought quickly fled when he looked back at the crowd and saw _Jet _staring at him with the same expression as the catfishgators: hungry and intent.

"You don't want to jump, Li," the brunette said. "Think about all you've got to live for. You're going to get a new life in Ba-Sing-Se with a bunch of new_ friends_...and an uncle who _loves _you very much. Very, very much," he added.

Zuko's face turned red in shame and humiliation. "Leave me alone!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

At this point, Iroh decided that if he was going to get the boy down from his precarious position, it had to be done soon and quickly. So, heedless to any screamed threats from his nephew, he slowly inched his way closer and closer to the railing. He did it so surrepititiously so that way Zuko never saw any movement. One second Iroh was ten feet away, then seven feet, five feet...

Zuko's gaze finally snapped back to the ex-General, catching him in mid-step. This startled him so much that it caused him to lose his footing. There was a collective gasp as one leg shot out from under him, and the young man teetered backwards. But then, as he flailed his arms, gravity caught him and dragged him forewards, causing him to topple over onto his surprised uncle.

Perhaps it was a good thing Zuko smacked his head on the floorboards and passed out. If he had seen the position he was in _now_, he probably would have gone into a seizure. There was a moment of silence (well, from the main characters; the faceless members of the crowd were muttering and starting to disperse, as the one belligrant old man loudly voiced his disappointment on the outcome), and Jet, Longshot, and Smellerbee came to stand beside them. Iroh and Jet exchanged glances, startled glances.

"What on earth has gotten into that boy?" Iroh muttered under his breath.

"Maybe the heat finally got to him? Let's put him in the shade until he wakes up."

The plan was quickly agreed upon and carried out. Furthermore, both of them simultaneously decided that it would be better if Zuko were left to believe that the...er...incident was all just a bad dream.

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**A/N: I am so evil, but I don't think there's a single AtLA fan alive who doesn't know how much fun it is to torment Zuko. I'm not sure if I should post more Jetko parody one-shots or not...but this was fun to write, so, why not?**

**What'd you think? REVIEW!**


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